Five Truths When Living With An Outdoors Man

image   image

1. The Survival Snacks Are For Survival

Turns out we have a difference of opinions when it comes to things like protein, calorie boosting, nutritional supplementing, energy bars. Where Kevin sees nutrients, long-lasting, ultra-filling, only-to-be-used sparingly, hiking snacks – I see chocolate. I see caramel bits. I see salty-sweet treats in shiny packages. Is it so wrong that I should reward myself for incredible feats such as loading the dishwasher? Getting out of bed on the weekends?! GETTING DRESSED!? Is it so unthinkable that I should eat all the peanut butter cliff bars out of the Costco pack in one sitting!? And then move on to the chocolate fudge?! According to Kevin – it is.

2. Style Comes Between Us

This is an area that I didn’t grasp the severity of until a couple years into our marriage (how it escaped me the hundred years we had been together… I’m unsure). I am a firm believer in dressing functional for functional things – hiking, biking, sports, and the like. Unfortunately for me, ‘functional’ is the only style my darling partner gives two hoots about. Things to consider when committing your life to an Outdoors Man: “Do I love the feel of Gortex against my skin?” “How attractive IS a man in a skin-tight base layer?” and “Juuuust because it’s breathable, wind-resistant, waterproof and durable sure-as-hell doesn’t mean it’s flattering”. All things to think about.


3. His Shopping Habits Are Out Of Control

NEVER did I think I would turn into the whiny, two-year old when out shopping. SURPRISE! Turns out my husband kicks my impatient arse when it comes to stamina and perseverance when out shopping. We now know not to invite Logan along on these retail marathons. It’s bad for him. Bad for me. Bad for the marriage. Better for EVERYONE if I stay home and eat pie.


4. Waterproofing And Well-Placed Vents Make Him Giddy

Don’t know if there’s anything more to say on the matter.

It’s weird.

I don’t know how I feel about it.

I suppose I’m coming to terms with the insane grins that come with setting up tents, showing off armpit vents and splashing in puddles?


5. He Is Bringing Me Over To The Dark Side

Either through classic zingers such as “Oh? I see we haven’t moved yet today?” (which is an insane comment if he knew how important that Netflix series-or-six was to me!) or a simple invite to come hike – I have become more and more eager to be outside – exploring, exerting myself and wearing foreign items such as ‘waterproof gloves’, ‘woolen toques’ and ‘trail runners’ (feel free to use a dictionary if those just aren’t ringing any bells). Over the years, I have slowly started to morph into his proper, outdoorsy, female counterpart and although I will never be found rocking a waterproof skort (I just don’t have the hips), I have found I look quite striking in spandex blends and water-resistant fabrics… As long as they’re black.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *