Europe Trip: Night At The Museum

Have you ever wanted to enter a space where you could wander aimlessly for a lifetime, see tons of cool, old stuff and eventually die because you could never find your way out and yet no one notices because your remains blend seamlessly into the collection?! No? Just us? In order to make this bucket list item a reality – we knew The Louvre was a MUST see.

Sweet Tourist Facts:

  • The Louvre is the world’s largest museum (like – wandering around until you die kinda big… It’s friggin crazy… 652,300 sf of friggin crazy)
  • It was originally a fortress build in 1190
  • General Admission – 15 Euros
  • The Mona Lisa lives here

The highlight of my museum experience was touring the Napoleon III apartments. Holy jeeze did they not hold back. The feeling of grandeur is overwhelming as you stroll through the rooms. Everything is adorned with chandeliers, velvet, gold gilded everything, and curtains you could use to make 50 of Scarlett O’Hara’s DIY dresses. I was in heaven. I now know what I’ll be looking for when it comes to finding our next home. Kev thinks I’m dream’in. I think I have standards. Do these standards include a ten foot wide chandelier? A thirty foot banquet table? A 2,000 sf parlour (used exclusively for gossiping and card games)!? Of course they do. But I figure, you only live once – and that being the case, I choose to live like Napoleon III.


Now, I get that she’s famous – but personally, I am not undone by Miz Mona. Given that the other paintings surrounding her are incredible and 78 times larger, I was not inclined to join the Mona-Mosh-Pit for a tiny photo of a tiny painting. Luckily for us – my husband was and I am able to complain with picture proof.

Fact: The paintings and tapestries all depict the man’s behind as being the most endowed, taught, apple-bottomed arse you’ve ever seen.  I was sure to scrutinize every one. It was consistent. And it was captivating.

After approx 4 hours in The Louvre, our feet, brains, backs, stomachs and patience wore out and we knew what we had to do. Happy hour and then feast. We stuffed our faces at Boullion Racine – a wonderful joint that was recommended to us. Creme Brulee waffles. ‘Nuff said. We enjoyed ourselves far too much, stayed out way too late, slept way too little and soon enough it was 3:00 AM and we were off to catch our plane.

Next stop: Italy.

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