How Has Marriage Changed For Me?



Cheers to 5 years married. We gussied up, frolicked in/on nature and armed with some delicious local brew, we put together some questions to encourage us to take a beat and reflect on past, present and upcoming years.

1. How have we learned to cope with the normal, day-to-day ups and downs of married life?

Him:

  • More verbal communication is better
  • Use a schedule/regime/set duties for chores
  • Make a specific time in the work week for just us (providing I’m not doing this school thing).

Her:

Soo… aside from the cocktails? Right, ok…

  • Doing my own stuff. I tend to be the ‘needier’ of the two and when I don’t have a balance of ‘couple’ pursuits/hobbies and ‘personal’ pursuits/hobbies, I turn into an adorable leech who sucks the life out of her husband. In the cutest way imaginable.
  • Trying to be diligent about around the house help. This is… how should I say… not my area of strength. I am a once-a-month-deep-cleaner-if-people-are-coming-over-maybe-at-best, and I married an avid tidier who CARES about cleanliness. Sigh* Worssstttttt.
  • Make sure Kevin eats at regular intervals. This equals = happiness.

2. What have I learned to appreciate about my husband/wife during these past five years?

Him:

  • She is willing to do stuff/chores if I ask nicely. No passive aggression required
  • Her willingness and ability to take on planning ‘stuff’ is strong
  • Her desire to connect one-on-one on a regular basis is TRULY a ‘need’

Her:

  • Well, feeding me for one thing. I snagged a mister who cooks like a god and keeps the meat on my bones. Single and alone Logan? Bagels and cereal. All day, ‘erry day.
  • His willingness to try at the whole marriage thing. I don’t think I fully appreciate his willingness to come back and troubleshoot problems and to mend the broken bits – but I’m trying. By the time we’re seventy, I’m confident I will.
  • His… gently put, tedious nature. He is a very ‘climbs into boxes’ type of chap and I am a very ‘sees a box and runs away’ type of gal. His particularness and oddities have definitely been a learning curve… And will continue to be until we die. Because they cray.

3. What are 5 highlights from the past five years?

Him:

  • Europe trip
  • Our road trip for Andrew and Charne’s wedding
  • Every time we load up the car and leave to go somewhere with the pups
  • Olympics in London #bestfirstanniversary
  • Our wedding
  • The days (not the nights) we picked up Wrenny and Tucker
  • (I added extra in case you deem one of them not “an singular highlight”)

Her:

  • Getting one dog. Then getting two dogs. I can’t wait until we have 17 dogs.
  • Traveling through Europe together. And not killing each other.
  • Our wedding was wicked. Wouldn’t have changed a thing.
  • Celebrating at friend’s weddings. No particular one – they have all been the bomb.
  • Whistler get-aways. With just the two of us, or with bigger groups – they are such big breaths of fresh air (I guess literally and figuratively).

4. How has “marriage” changed for me over the past five years?

Him:

  • It’s harder than I thought
  • You don’t have to share everything, but you have to learn how to share.
  • I think more than ever it has become apparent, to have a successful marriage you truly have to Love the other person. You have to do extra things for them, you have to compromise for them, you give to them and you end up getting lots (of love) back in return.What three things am I looking forward to in our future?

Her:

  • It has become far less selfish. It’s a constant reminder that your way isn’t universal truth and although someone else’s idea is different – it also, can be brilliant… and an equally effective way to cut potatoes.

5. What three things am I looking forward to in our future?

Him:

  • Making our own home
  • Having kids over the age of two
  • Going to Europe again

Her:

  • Eventually buying and creating a home. I want to sink my teeth into creating sweet spaces and decorating a home that reflects us (memostlyme) and I’m the worst at doing that with our rentals.
  • Putting children in our house. I mean, kids are just SO cute all the time and they look SO adorable in clothes… so yeah, sign us up.
  • If these last five years have only gotten more intense, more intimate, more wonderful and more ‘more’… what on earth will the next five hold?…. Money. Maybe lots of money.

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