The Winner’s Guide To Changing Your Name

 


For all those considering making the leap in swapping out your maiden name for your married name – this helpful, step-by-step guide outlines the important things to do when making the change. Best of luck!

Step 1: Completely believe that changing your name to your soon-to-be-husband’s name will be no problem. A breeze. You are convinced it’s right for you and don’t give it a second thought prior to the wedding day.

Step 2: Have an identity crisis post-wedding day. Change my NAME!? What was I thinking? He doesn’t OWN me! This isn’t the STONE AGES! WHAT – AND I BECOME HIS SLAVE!? WHO AM I!? WHO IS THIS JERK I MARRIED?! CHAUVINIST PIG!!!! *insert any/all the dramatics*

Step 3: Avoid the subject like the plague. Keep your head low at family gatherings, never attend formal weddings with seating charts and sign all Christmas cards “Love, the two cuties”.

Step 4: If your husband DARES to bring up the fact that after years of marriage you seem to have forgotten to ‘change that name’ – ask him sweetly to take your name instead. This will shut him up. Real quick.

Step 5: Consider hyphenating. Completely combust, screaming ‘BUT BABE – BEYONCE AND JAYZ DID IT – DON’T YOU WANT TO BE LIKE BEY!?” He won’t. He won’t want to be like Bey.

Step 6: Decide that FAMILY doesn’t mean having the same last name. You can still be HAPPY with different last names. You remind yourself that this 2016 and Donald Trump is running for President… ANYTHING is possible.

Step 7: Wake up one day and for the briefest of moments – don’t utterly LOATHE the idea of giving up your name.

Step 8: Ride that wave – get your maiden name permanently marked on your body (your husband talks you out of a full back tattoo including each of your family-member’s faces. Whatever husband – it was going to be BEAUTIFUL).

Step 9: Seriously and responsibly make the final, most important move in becoming one…. Change your Instagram account.

 

And you’re done!

 

MEGA shout out to the ridiculously talented Kaiju Rapture for making the shedding of my name a little less difficult

 

XOXO

 

The NEW Mrs. Enns

 

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