40 weeks. We’ve hit the ‘guestimated’ arrival time of you, the new person. Because I am CONFIDENT I will never be truly ready, I just wanted to assure you that I am madly comfortable with an overdue baby. I think it’s genius. Bonus time. Thanks in advance. Just so you know, I’ve been feeling great and haven’t yet felt the need to start googling ‘How To Break Your Own Waters’ or ‘900 Ancient Remedies No One Has Told You About To Kickstart Labor In 3 Minutes’.
My bladder control is off the charts (no thanks to you), my extremities have avoided swelling (all rings still intact) and my energy levels are high (thus far). I’ve also hit a new level of intimacy with your soon-to-be Pop. Nothing brings you closer then scheduling steamy perineum massage sessions or excitedly showing off your ‘self-expressed’ milk party trick (your Dad refuses to let me share that one at actual parties…).
You are currently quite the explosive tenant – all bones and all knees, threatening to bust right out the womb via the rib cage. You contort my stomach into the most horrifying of shapes and really make sure I know you exist, refusing to let me forget for a moment that you are there and you are important (you totally get that from me – way to be!). I did wanted to thank you for last week, when you weren’t in optimal position for delivery and I politely asked you to get your act together and smarten up. You did, like a champ, and I’m so relieved I won’t have to discipline you for not listening in utero. Well, at least I won’t have to add THAT transgression TO the list.
It’s been wild, scary and fun to think about who you are and what you’ll be like. Will you be introverted and reserved (read: will I let you be introverted and reserved) or will you be outgoing and nuts? Will I like you? Will you like me? I gotta be honest kid, this whole parenting thing is pretty daunting when you think about it. It’s a bizarre concept to just ‘get’ a strange human. You are going to have to promise to stick with us while we try to figure it all out.
Well pal, we’re sort of ready for you… but definitely feel free to take your sweet time. No need to rush the process. I figure I still have 11 baths, 36 naps, 14 lounges and 7 social engagements until I’ll feel properly nested. So see you next week sometime!
With all the patience,